Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
