I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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