dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
