Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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