Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
