Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
