I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So many bounce houses so little time
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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