just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm getting married
To pizza
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
