So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
