When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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