I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
