I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize