so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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