we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
