Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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