You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
