bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
