Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
