So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
