I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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