The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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