so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
