i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
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