giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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