So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
A+ Viking dick
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
