Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
