Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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