i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
