Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize