before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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