Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
