okay pat passed out under dana's car
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
