grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
