Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
