i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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