I am in a vortex of obligation.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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