Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I will be naked everywhere
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
