It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
