Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
