Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
