Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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