i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
