Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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