I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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