Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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