im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
