he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
