just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize