Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
tell your sister to shave her snatch
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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