Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
