Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize