Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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