I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
