i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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