O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
