I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize