I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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