Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
