Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
