Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize