singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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