cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Randomize