i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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